2010年11月17日星期三

Helping Chee Li Kee


I Support Chee Li Kee

2010年10月29日星期五

婆婆,安息吧







26/10/2010
她的人生就此画下了句点。

留下的。。
是我们记忆中的她

2010年10月24日星期日

海南语〉〉

“大家笑笑,不要流眼泪,送妈上天。。。大家笑笑,不要流眼泪,妈也笑笑。。”

这是今晚婆婆费了很大力气所说出的话。。
笑笑。。
我会的。。
但。。到时。。
我不担保我不会流着眼泪笑

哥哥说婆婆今晚心跳变快了
这有没有影响
我不敢问

又是一晚一晚的过

2010年10月22日星期五

昨晚,
婆婆难得很精神
眼睛开的大大的
姑姑问她看到什么?
“看到。。。九王爷。。”

“九王爷穿什么衣啊?”

“红色”

(九王爷来找婆婆??)

接着,婆婆又说

“妈。。。生日。。。”

“九日。。。十日。。。”

姑姑去看日历。。
十天后,果然是婆婆农历的生日
我的婆婆是不是很聪明叻?
已很久没看日历
没看报纸
病得连口都难开难关了。。
头脑依然那么的精
就算不看日历
依然能记得那么准确
她。。
很强。。
对么?

妈妈告诉婆婆
她生日我们买冰淇琳蛋糕给她
她没力说话
但微微的点点头
这一刻

像个小孩子
昨天傍晚study group 后先回家睡觉
忽然被门的碰撞声给吵醒了
爸爸妈妈回来了?那么早?
难道婆婆有事了吗?
坏人?不可能吧(太累了,没有想起来的冲动)
*咳*
哦,是哥哥!!
怎么突然会来了?
不管了。。
继续睡。。
(安心的入睡)

Zzzz~

*原来,哥哥是特地回来看婆婆的 =) *

2010年10月20日星期三

昨天中午,和Shi Ning 一起吃午餐的时候电话突然震动了。

2 missed call...

一个不晓得是谁的手机号码,另一通则是爸爸公司电话。

回电给他 :“Girl 啊,你在哪里。。?”

“在外面吃饭咯”

“准备啊。。可能要赶去医院看婆婆。。她心跳好像变弱了。。大伯现在去看什么情形先。。”

结果,没事。。
................................

“girl 啊,准备啊。。”
我已被爸爸用这句话吓了好几次了。。
有少些麻木了。。
也不会那么容易掉泪 了。。
这次,出奇的淡定。
反而在想这次是真的到时间了么??
她受的苦
看在眼里,疼在心里
离开或许是种解脱。

................................

昨夜去探望她,
一天比一天还要消瘦了
但我们叫她
她还会微微的点头表示听见了
虽然病重
头脑却依然很清醒
可爱的婆婆
还问姑姑,她到底要吃什么药才会好
曾经还说过医生没用,乱乱医
不晓得自己患的是癌症
这时候家人反而头痛婆婆太精灵了
如果她钝一些,
或许她会少一些烦恼
少一点折磨
。。。。。。。。。。

晚间读书读到一半
读不下去了
开始在电脑里寻找婆婆的照片
甚至去书橱内翻找相溥
发现我和婆婆的合照并不多
十多年的回忆
涌上心头
泪眶湿了

。。。。。。。
部落客的歌曲
此时很衬托我的心情
低。落

2010年10月17日星期日

DOWN....
dOWn...
down..
她的气色一天比一天差了
就连唠叨,骂人,埋怨都没力气了
今天去探望她
她又瘦了一圈
眼睛,像一双无地洞
无神。。感觉很。。空。。
喝水都没力气了
呼吸似乎有些苦难,沉重
得靠氧气筒了

2010年10月12日星期二

Nightmares foreseeing the future??

The dreams juz seemed to be so real...
Everything juz looked the same as the reality...

these two days..i had dreamed the same thing bout having Chemistry paper in STPM...
ok..no big deal of dreaming tat..
bt...wat do matters is tat..i was sitting on the chair..staring at the papers..and i dunno how to do a single question!!! OMG...it's STPM leh...
i dun wan that to happen!!!
last time i heard ppl telling me that...if u hav a nightmare...u got to say it out..or else it might happen in reality...so..I'm telling out *LOUD* here...>.<

Okay, it seems to be like a warning to me...if i dun study..i'll definitely ended up like wat happen in the dream...so...I gt the message!! pls dun kacau me in my dream again....

大开"吃"戒

(monday) It's Sushi King members day!!! Each plate of sushi cost only RM2...no matter wat colour plate it is...=D Went to Midvally in the morning to meet up with Shirley, Shir's sis, Kheng Aik, Yeong Shing & Keh Hau.....erm..Fish was playing in the arcade..so we were wondering around in the arcade playing something like photohunt...
and Sushi King~~~ here we come lo~~~ ^^v
We ate like 饿鬼...kept grab those expensive sushi...(today rm2 only!! normally rm 4 / rm 6) Shirley & her sis both add together only bout 7 plates.. me n YS each 7 plates..KH & KA each 10 plates...LOL..

After Mr Ong's tuition in the afternoon...had my 2nd round with KA, Poh Li & Kong Weng to SS2 pasar malam...it's juz across the road from my aunt house..bt KW..PuTERA lilin...wanna sit car to the pasar malam...=.='' ended up....we gt to walk further than usual coz no parking...n fish got to park kinda far..lmao..xD juz cant stop laughing at KW...haha..

well...u can nvr save money when u r searching for food in pasar malam...coz it's nt cheap! walked 2 rounds..n I nvr stop eating..
my $$ saved in the holidays...juz flew away like this..for the sake of food...T.T

2010年10月10日星期日

Sammy's Adventure


Sammy's Adventures watched!!
^^

Erm..whenever i look at this pic, it reminds me of my classmates.
they said i look like Sammy!! aka the turtle....=.=''
well..i can understand why yoke mun say i alike..coz she always called me tortoise in class..
but...i dun get it when jojo say it looks like me..
the spec?? maybe..bt mine aint like the red spec it is wearing wor..
hmm..
by the way...i watch 2D instead of 3D..
though is in 2D, the graphic is still nice =)
as for the story line...
my cousin sis child said she wanna go bak home in the middle of the movie
& my mom...fell alseep...
so...nice or not?? haha...
perhaps..the storyline aint very attractive..
bt the graphic indeed nt bad..
and the turtles r cute~
>.<

2010年10月9日星期六

Slept at 2am, woke at 4am by dad...

“girl, 起来咯, 现在要去婆婆家。。她好像不行了。Ah poh (姑姑)叫她,她没有反应,好像昏迷了。。”

去婆婆家的路上, 我想了很多。。。若她真的在梦中长眠,未必是件坏事。。。
婆婆都95了, 说壮,婆婆的确比一般年老的人还要壮。。只是,恶性肿瘤一直在扩大,不晓得是压到了胃部还是食道,吃什么都反胃。。单单靠牛奶与葡萄糖填肚子,能撑那么一段时间,已经是很了不起了。95,没药医。。难听点儿,在家等时间到。一条长长的管道从鼻子插入至胃部,定时抽胃酸。。弄到婆婆的喉咙很不舒服。天天躺在床上叹气。。想吃;吃不了,想走;没力气。。白天,黑夜,白天,黑夜。。。这何尝不是一种煎熬。。

一踏入婆婆家,即闻到一股很重的风油味。。大伯一直在婆婆鼻子上抹风油与疏氧气给她,姑姑则一直轻轻拍打她的脸和手。。过了好一段时间,才听见婆婆类似要给与反应却无力的声音,爸爸告诉婆婆我们来了,她眼睛微微的撑开了一些又盖下去了。又这样,过了好一阵子。。她才醒过来。。。先是叹气。。接着还是在叹气。。开口说的第一句话竟是:“怎么还不断气啊。。” 这句话,听在儿女的心里,是傻话。。

但老人家,何尝不想安安详详的在梦中长眠呢。。醒过来,又是一段折磨得日子。。
我内心挺矛盾的。。一来我不舍得婆婆。。但却不想她天天那样痛苦的过。。
子女又哪里可能放任她去睡。。与世永别呢。。

不管如何,婆婆是个幸福的老人家。。因为,在她晚年病中的时候,孩子依然不离不弃的照顾她,想尽办法救她。。
上一代在做,下一代在看。。这一切给了我很深的感触。。

2010年10月8日星期五

Tim's 19th Birthday

Yesterday, it's was Timothy's 19th birthday ~
We secretly planned a surprise party for him at the tuition place, we lied to him that we hav intensive class at 6.30pm (tuition start at 8pm) and Hui En in-charge of bringing him there coz he wanna skipped tuition on his birthday..lol..
Party supposed to start at 6.30pm but it was delayed till 7.40pm..coz Yeong Shing 反锁his car with his carkeys, our KFC and cake in his car...smart betul..lol.. Luckily Yuk Hoong's dad know how to unlock it..if nt..fried chicken will become steam chicken in the car..

our new style of putting candles..

It's definitely finger licking good!! haha..
very long no eat KFC d..=D
the very unique birthday card..hmm..can see the pic i drew?
on the right top of the picture...too small i guess..LOL
guess who??
Hui En of coz!!
the sweet couple~
Happy Birthday in advance Hui En~

2010年10月7日星期四

Ninja Joe

During holidays, i think there's something wrong with my ears, coz my phone alarm just cant wake me up during holidays. I wanted to go to skul tis morning, i set my alarm at 8am bt it din wake me up T.T By the time i woke up, is already time for breakfast + lunch..which means 2mr before goin KL for tuition, i need to print the testimonial first.

Dunno why I've the craving for A&W waffle with the ice-cream on top...but kinda lazy to drive to SS2 it's sooo "far" ~ haha...okay...nt far bt it's hard to get a parking space there especially during noon time.. den i drove to Tropicana City Mall which is much nearer to my house to search for something new...no such thing as no parking there and I've plenty of choices wat to eat.
It's one of my favourite spot ^^

and i spotted the Ninja Joe~
I've been walking pass this shop for many times but i nvr enter it before..
bt since bro said it's nice...
so..Ninja Burger here i come~
for those who dunno what's Ninja Burger,
it is a fast food restaurant which sells only PORK burgers
=)


2010年10月5日星期二

去学校。我迷路了。。。

(Monday) I've got to say that my possibility of getting lost on the road has increased to 60%. T.T
夸张?? well...u'll agree with me after u read wat had happen on that day.

Early in the morning around 6.45am, Yeong Shing phoned me, he told me that the bridge above the federal highway gt accident, cars couldnt pass through it. And from my house to skul, i've gt to pass that bridge. He asked me to use alternate route. ALTERNATE ROUTE?!?!? but i only noe one way to skul...>.<...

nvm..i asked dad to teach me the alternate route...ok..by listening, it sounds pretty easy to reach skul...and while i was driving, i figured that alternate route was sooooo familiar, and i remembered that the uncle who used to fetch me from form 1 to lower 6 always use that route, juz in a opposite way ( bak from skul instead of goin to skul)..i felt so happy and proud coz i recognise that route...as i was driving down the route...sHiT! i remembered that the road ended to the same usual road i use to go to skul..Jln Universiti.. it's like..I took a very long road to get bak the same usual road..aka the accident occured punya road..>.< (i should go straight down the road but i took a left turning..i followed uncle's usual route instead of dad's instruction..ben dan)

fine den, stuck in the jam for 20 minutes, finally can u-turn coz cant pass through the bridge, in the end get bak to the road which i took the wrong turning...tis time..i gt it rite..but after amcorp mall that roundabout at the State...i took another wrong turning again...getting deeper into the State...n it's a way that i can use to get bak home!!! omg... T.T u-turn bak again to the roundabout..n finally..i gt the rite turning...stuck in the jam for another 20 mins...

getting closer to the Churh! ^^ but when i reached the front gate...i gt struck by whats in my sight... a red cone was blocking my way into the entrance at the slope n the front gate of the church was closed!!!!!!!!! CLOSED! $%#%&$^%#^
i cant take a u-turn bak to the back gate of the churh...coz i will be jam for another 40 minutes..thanks to the accident..haiz...my last choice...i went down my car...n shift the cone away...n parked my car at the slope right in front of the gate...before i could get down of my car n block the entrance with the red cone bak...another car came down! T.T she stuck there also..while i was explaining to her..another car came!!!! aiks...my fault for shifting the cone..sorry~ the woman said she'll settle it by calling the church to open the gate and asked me rush to skul as i am extremely late...(she's very kind!)
(YS forget to told me that the gate is closed when he phoned me...=.='')

Finally...reached skul and had my name recorded for being late..T.T 2nd time already...
i was juz in time when Pn Lee had finally finished her super duper long speech...and manage to get the trophy for the Pakaian Tradisional Competition by myself =) our group gt Johan!! hehe..and tis is the 2nd trophy i've earned in my entire secondary skul life..(excluding those spm prize n hampers won by the classes) i've gt to say that..这奖得来不易啊!~.~

that night, my dad kept laughing at me....saying me lousy.......
~>.<~
nvr knew that..skul..is so hard to reach...

2010年10月3日星期日

手纸

GT sent me a link of this song called 手纸, it seems like a song that Japanese usually sing during their graduation...den i saw the translated lyrics of the song...its kinda meaningful.. =)




............................................

Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
Where are you and what are you doing now?

For me who's 15 years old
There are seeds of worries I can't tell anyone

If it's a letter addressed to my future self,
Surely I can confide truly to myself

Now, it seems that I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?
This one-and-only heart has been broken so many times
In the midst of this pain, I live the present

Dear you,
Thank you
I have something to tell the 15-year-old you

If you continue asking what and where you should be going
You'll be able to see the answer

The rough seas of youth may be tough
But row your boat of dreams on
Towards the shores of tomorrow

Now, please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice
For me as an adult, there are sleepless nights when I'm hurt
But I'm living the bittersweet present

There's meaning to everything in life
So build your dreams without fear
Keep on believing

Seems like I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?

Please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice

No matter era we're in
There's no running away from sorrow
So show your smile, and go on living the present
Go on living the present

Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
I wish you happiness...

2010年10月2日星期六

Hair cut

It's a Saturday~ my first saturday after exam!!! =D

parents went to work again (weekends suppose to be rest days bt dad din work on thursday coz need take care grandma..so replace bak..while mom is a workaholic...thus..followed dad bak to work) which means...i'm on my own AGAIN~

my hair is super duper long ady~ so decided to go for a hair cut...
first time drive to the salon..well..it isnt tat far..n it is easy to reach ..i din lost my way~^^~
waited for an hour there....Zzz Zzz..wat to do..the salon has gud service n aint like other salon tat expensive too...
cut + wash = RM33
(she charge me extra rm 3 coz my hair too thick wor)
(haven been cutting short for more than a year..if divide it into months..one month cost rm1 ++)

after the hair cut is already noon. went to Murni's branch which is juz opposite the salon..
ate a very big plate of Nasi Lemak
and
drank a glass of Poison...
yes...i drank POISON! haha...
dun worry..juz a name after all..xD


little passion fruits flavor..slices of cucumber..some mint leaves..few longan and a green chili!
hmm...i will recommend to those who dun like sweet drinks..coz tis drink is juz 清甜..
(was wondering whether the chili is for me to eat or juz deco...i din bite it..xD)

yea~ my fringe is bak!

the noob face again! hahax ;P

Days before exam

the empty class
and it was raining outside..
kinda enjoy moment like tis though...

my dear 弯弯..whenever i felt hopeless in studies..i will look at it..
=)

Chemistry...i've been studying chem the earliest compare to other subjects..
yet..my result for chem still sucks..

my super neat hair style for juz a few days..
coz shirley broke my hairband..XD
my only company..
POOH!!! ^^v
even though it is juz a bottle..but i feel warm when i see its lovely smile =D

Sushi Zanmai with two beloved SA POs~

(Thursday) Went Sushi Zanmai with two sa po > > Shirley & Vivian
LAst Saturday nite, i've actually went once with my parents to celebrate bro's early birthday...den Shirley keep say she want to eat sushi too...so does Vivian..so i promised to bring them on Thursday ~ =)
but dunno why, Wednesday nite, i've food poisoning symptom like last time...juz keep feel like vomiting n no appetite...n yes..did vomit at nite..dad faster ask me eat 'bao zhi yuan'..den 11pm...sleeping dead on bed d..(haven been sleeping so early for months) was worry tat i get food poisoning again..wat i ate for lunch?? 猪肠粉in skul...>.<
next day morning, vomit again..bt i felt super duper energetic! coz hav sufficient sleep..i guess..xD plus i've promised tat two girls who so eagerly wanna eat sushi...so..the thought of nt goin to skul..cancel~ second thought..i dun wanna write letter to Mdm Ho either..=p

Noon..the plan goes on~
i wonder wats the point of me goin there....haha..coz..i cant eat raw stuff..as my stomach aint in a very gud condition...so my target of the day..CAWANMUSHI~
but...Vivian keep mumbling all the way~ she said : "生病的人不能吃鸡蛋!"
what!? i seriously nvr hear bout tis before.....there's no such tradition in my family..so..i insist ordering cawanmushi~ =D (Vivian no eye see me d...hahax)
wanted to eat the dessert so badly..bt..i cant..T.T
so...juz order another two plates of cooked sushi..n i was so fulled after eating food in skul during Girl Guide's Installation...ask Shirley n Vivian help me eat..they dun wan..they wan order other food...>.< see me keep forcing myself finish up the two little piece of sushi...they kept laughing...
Evil! i hide myself behind the big menu book while eating..but i din realise..the book terbalik d..let them laugh again...as for me..keep "vibrating" ( a word created by shirley which stands for laughing..) coz i cant laugh out as in..my mouth was full...with sushi....T.T


little octopus (wats the name of the famous octopus?? i forget already..haha)
two from the rite were mine! haha..egg again~ =P

their favorite pose... hide their faces with their hands
fried oyster sushi! i din eat T.T can see cannot touch


the star of the day~ SPIDER ROLL ~

.................................
went to help dad collect his new trousers...bt..the worker gav me the wrong one n i din realize till i reached home..好心做错事..haiz..thougth dad no need ma fan purposely go The Garden..end up..he still got to go..lol

Just a dream - Nelly

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (uh)
down that road (road)
Will she come back? (Uh)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream.

I was at the top and now its like I'm in the basement
Number 1 spot, Now she find her a replacement
I swear now I can't take it
Knowing somebody's got my baby

Now you ain't around, baby I can't think
I shoulda put it down, shoulda got that ring
Cuz I can still feel it in the air
See her pretty face, run my fingers through her hair

My lover, my life, My shawty, my wife
She left me, Im tied.
Cuz I knew that it just ain't right

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (Yeah)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream.

When I be ridin
man I swear I see your face at every turn
trying to get my usher on but I can't let it burn
And I just hope that she notice she the only one I yearn for
No more will I be missing, will I learn?

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/just-a-dream-lyrics-nelly.html ]

Didn't give her all my love
I guess now I got my payback
Now im in the club thinking all about my baby
HEY, she was so easy to love
But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough
I'm going through it everytime that I'm alone
Now I'm wishing she would pick up the phone
But she made a decision that she wanted to move on
Cause I was wrong.

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (road)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream...

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
Now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything
X2

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (road)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream...
X2

............................................................
last week i heard this song from the radio...den i couldnt stop myself from listening it again n again...haha...Tis gonna be the 2nd song of Nelly that i like after "Dilemma".. it's nt the lyrics that attract me..but the rhythm that plays a role..i rarely like a song by its lyrics.. ;P

2010年8月4日星期三

If i am granted with a wish
i would like to keep my heart temporarily in a box
lock in a locker till STPM is over
being a heartless person
coz i am easily affected by things happen around me
n is hard for me to ignore them
my EQ aint high...
for the moment..
i would rather be emotionless instead of being emotional
but...
i noe i cant =S

What u see/hear Vs The Truths

Ppl...including me...
we all r excellent story creater
coz most of us...believes in what we see...
We believe tat what we see is the truths
n start assuming everything
link small things together
Tada~
a story is done...
n assuming we noe everything bout it...
but what r the truths behind all these 'pictures' or 'images' u see with ur naked eyes??


Ppl also tend to like to assume what they hear r the truths...
"you" could be you, you or you...
"he" could be he , he or he...as long as he is a male...
same goes to "she"
when ppl we r close with writing something on FB or MSN...
n tat person din specifically mention who he/she mentioning...
we will automatically put ourselve into the situation to see whether is us or not
eg. " i'm pissed off, thx to you!"
n let say u argued with tat fren a day ago...when u see tis...will u assume tat "you" is u?? it's possible tat she actually mentioning someone else ... what if she argue with her sis? her mom?? or bro?? or other frenz??

perasan?? many of us hav it...
but dun 100% believe wat u see / hear is rite...coz it's stupid if u get crazy over it..n it turn out to be another person tat ur fren is mentioning...
n NEVER assume wat u see is rite n judge a person from who they mix with...u might easily hurt a person juz by saying..."u r a gang with them...so u r the same.." u nvr noe..=)

Rational Vs Emotional

i've a habit
which is talking to myself in my inner heart
n i have been doin tis from time to time

there's two side of me talking to each other
> rational side
>emotional side

in every circumstances...emotional side always come first..
whenever the emotional side affects me so badly till my mood swings
rational side will interfer

for the past two weeks...
i burst for something i kept in heart for months
n tell no one
as i could no longer bare it anymore...coz its exceeding the limit i could bare
finally, told few of them bout it...
as the emotional disease kept attack me n i dunno wat to do
i kept thinking tat i was bad...
i should not think or look at ppl tis way
coz tat person did ntg wrong
is juz the way i judge ppl from some silly stuff..
n when jealousy attacks..
my judgement could be bias..
but tt person is someone i care so much
n nvr allow ppl to hurt her
how can i allow such thoughts to affect my friendship?
rational n emotional started the war
i thought i will lose tis war
yet...i've overcome it
n came out with new theories n understandings
changed my way of viewing stuff
n jealousy is not longer exist as a factor
things tend to bak as normal as usual
though...i dun think she realise tt 'something' happen on me..xD

when i thought everything is on the right track
n i can focus on studies but nothing else
"things" juz dun allow me to do so
new "things" approach me
i wish i could ignore these stuff
but it juz so obvious n u cant act u dunno anything
how am i suppose to response to such things??
hahaz...seems like...another 'war' gonna begin soon...xD
however, something does confuse me
n i am uncertain bout tat...

somehow...i figured tat lately i dun really like to tell ppl every single thoughts in my mind...
nt even best frenz...
perhaps my mind tell me is not right to hav such thoughts
n i myself think is ridiculous too...
so is btr left unsaid..

lately, i also feel tat i dun like to get involve in other ppl's stuff anymore
is not really tat appropriate to interfere n telling ppl wat ppl should do
coz...in their mindset
they already set what they want to do..even if u wanna ask them change direction..somehow..they will still turn the steering bak to the usual direction...so wats the point?? mentally support is all they need...n will be there when they needed me..

2010年7月25日星期日

tis morning
one of my fren's dad pass away due to asthma
juz like tat
*poof*
gone
without any symptoms
and
he is gone

it would be a hard time for him
hope he will be able to go through this
stay strong my fren

..................

p.s to all my frens, appreciate what u hav rite now...u dunno when u gonna lost it..or when it gonna leave u...
perhaps ppl at my age is at the stage of 探索阶段

many of them..or i should include myself in...many of US

dun really noe wat we want.??
who we are??
always cant help feeling LOST

as if..we keep encounter 十字路口
there's 3 route for u to choose
and you juz dunno which route is the right path..
which one you should choose
and most of the time..
feeling lost n fear...
coz dunno what will we be facing
or what exactly is awaiting us

没有人生目标
feel i am so useless...
T.T
kinda envy those ppl with dreams /goals/ targets
coz i dun really noe wat i want...

2010年7月23日星期五

Shocked

burst to tears twice today

T.T

in the evening,
i watched Glee
n saw the scene where the baby is given birth
its touching
yet..dunno why
i suddenly thought of those white mouse we disected for biology
those babies we saw in the mothers' uterus
and it linked to the mouse that yoke mun disect!
It was still breathing...seemed like suffocating, trying hard to breath in
its heart was still beating
the moment the nails r nailed via its hands n legs
the moment the scissor cut into its muscle
and the moment the its rib cage were broken for us to see its heart
can u imagine the pain it was suffering???
it was juz half unconscious!!!! WTH!!!
PAIN!!!!! those scenes juz keep repeating in my head...
i dun feel tat bad disecting a dead mouse..
but..seeing ppl disecting a half unconscious mouse is...worse than ever
cried..after thinking back wat happened in the lab..
for the mouse...
n..to the lives tat were ended in their mothers' dead body..

nite...around 8pm
reached skul n saw shirley, rebbie, adrian, cj, and ys
we were goin to giv calvin a surprise party..today is Calvin's birthday
cj asked ys n i bring the cake up first
n thank goodness...we did
coz..
when ys, tim n i were preparing the cake halfway
we heard a big door bang
i thought calvin reached
cj n rebbie ran up to inform us
but it wasnt
they were chased after by a snatch thief
adrian was injured n totally shocked...
shirley was still okay
everyone was shocked actually
the environment was damn freaking scary
everyone was not in the mood for tuition or surprise party anymore
n i am really really lucky tat i left earlier n followed ys bak to class..
coz..i was having my laptop in my skul bag
n i dun think i will be react tat fast as shirley
perhaps..will stun there like rebbie...
though i din encounter the snatch thief by myself
listening to others disciption is already scary enough
feeling a little scare while driving bak
n dunno why
burst to tears while driving halfway
tried to control myself..n manage to control my tears...
coz i was telling myself..i am not far from home...things wil be fine right after i reach home
coz my dad will be there
n guess wat
what awaits me was an empty home..
my parents aint at home!!!
i dun even dare to step out of my car...under the dark nite..
tried to phone my parents
but there was no answer
first time...feeling so scare to step down of my car
cant stop the fear tat growing stronger in my heart
til daddy reach home..
cant wait to tell him everything
n of coz...
crying while telling..HAha...
xD
i dun even cried at my tuition place..
i juz listened..n felt lucky
a little bit of fear n tats all
but...
perhaps..
my shock receptors r much slower than other ppl's
coz thats the only reason why my tears always came much later after things happened..

2010年6月26日星期六

True Colours

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy,
can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me upBecause you know I'll be there
And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
suddenly fall in love with this song...*like!!!*

2010年6月25日星期五

Teacher's Day

After spending a week on these
after sacrificing my sleep time
~Tada~
Happy Teacher's Day!!
and not to forget
gotta thanks my classmates for helping too~
TQ~
(special thanks to keh hau...though he has little prob on differentiating colours..yet..he's the 1st one to offer to help me le...)
.
.
This is the coolest teacher's day i ever had!
and i guess...today is the craziest day i ever had in skul too
haha...
whole bunch of form 6 students
shouting like mad ppl just released from Tanjung Rambutan
.
dun get it?? haha
.
well...when teachers r having their jamuan...students r all gathered in the skul hall and sport centre to watch CHS idol winners to perform
proudly announce
we hav 5 winners from form 6!
Fei Ching > solo (3rd)+ duet(1st)
Kien Hong> duet(1st)
Shirley + Hui En + Sheen Yeen > group (3rd)
all of us (form 6) just cheer like as if we r in a concert (with banner)
and we r like in our own world happily doin wat we want to do
langsung tak ada image
very hyper all the time
other forms? they just look at us...and laugh
haha...
but den who cares~
last yr d!!
some of us even ran up to the stage when shirley's group was performing!
after cheering for them in the hall
we ran to the sport centre for 2nd round
but den the lower forms
all very sien
not macam the higher form...will at least giv response to our sot-ness
.
not to forget bout Vera Tan!! Rebecca's sis!
I love her sexy voice!!!
*thumbs up!!*
.
the Super Junior dance also not bad!!
yeng~
few quite leng zai too...
haha...
.
.
still kinda hyper rite now
cant stop thinking wat happened for the entire day
lol
FORM 6 ROCKS!

2010年6月20日星期日

Father's Day outing~

Well...Happy Father's DAy daddy~~~
^^
erm...i had belanja him makan two weeks earlier...
so today din do anything for him..
just wished him only xD
.
.
noon time...
as usual..big gathering~ with my relatives..
all celebrated father;s day together
and also my 6th aunt's birthday
oh ya
Happy Birthday aunty Joyce~
.
.
we went to starhill
one of the restaurant called Gonbei
its a japanese restaurant
japanese buffet!!!
yummy~
opposite Jogoya...but i think...Jogoya nicer..i guessed...HEhe
.
.
here r some pic~
^^


here r the fathers~


1st : my daddy!!! ^^ v
2nd : my uncle!
3rd : 2nd cousin bro in law
.
.
p.s. supposely hav 4 fathers..but my 1st cousin bro in law got to stay at home look after his daughter (sick jor) ... so 1st cousin sis brought another 2 kid along to eat..while her husband stayed at home..lol..funny eh?is father's day, father need to stay at home pulak...what to do..only he can control the naughty girl..xD
okay...not to forget...the birthday one~ my aunt ^^
now
lets hav a look at some of the food~

baskin robin ice-cream!! eat as much as u can!! RAWR~

^^v
wat ya do after eating??
well...
tats what i did
chocolate drawing!!!
xD
erm..these r those left over chocolate...not wasting it..



from this
change to


this!!
does it look like a tree to u?? xD
bamboo!!
pang pang pang~ time to say sayonara~

~~BYE~