Shocked

burst to tears twice today

T.T

in the evening,
i watched Glee
n saw the scene where the baby is given birth
its touching
yet..dunno why
i suddenly thought of those white mouse we disected for biology
those babies we saw in the mothers' uterus
and it linked to the mouse that yoke mun disect!
It was still breathing...seemed like suffocating, trying hard to breath in
its heart was still beating
the moment the nails r nailed via its hands n legs
the moment the scissor cut into its muscle
and the moment the its rib cage were broken for us to see its heart
can u imagine the pain it was suffering???
it was juz half unconscious!!!! WTH!!!
PAIN!!!!! those scenes juz keep repeating in my head...
i dun feel tat bad disecting a dead mouse..
but..seeing ppl disecting a half unconscious mouse is...worse than ever
cried..after thinking back wat happened in the lab..
for the mouse...
n..to the lives tat were ended in their mothers' dead body..

nite...around 8pm
reached skul n saw shirley, rebbie, adrian, cj, and ys
we were goin to giv calvin a surprise party..today is Calvin's birthday
cj asked ys n i bring the cake up first
n thank goodness...we did
coz..
when ys, tim n i were preparing the cake halfway
we heard a big door bang
i thought calvin reached
cj n rebbie ran up to inform us
but it wasnt
they were chased after by a snatch thief
adrian was injured n totally shocked...
shirley was still okay
everyone was shocked actually
the environment was damn freaking scary
everyone was not in the mood for tuition or surprise party anymore
n i am really really lucky tat i left earlier n followed ys bak to class..
coz..i was having my laptop in my skul bag
n i dun think i will be react tat fast as shirley
perhaps..will stun there like rebbie...
though i din encounter the snatch thief by myself
listening to others disciption is already scary enough
feeling a little scare while driving bak
n dunno why
burst to tears while driving halfway
tried to control myself..n manage to control my tears...
coz i was telling myself..i am not far from home...things wil be fine right after i reach home
coz my dad will be there
n guess wat
what awaits me was an empty home..
my parents aint at home!!!
i dun even dare to step out of my car...under the dark nite..
tried to phone my parents
but there was no answer
first time...feeling so scare to step down of my car
cant stop the fear tat growing stronger in my heart
til daddy reach home..
cant wait to tell him everything
n of coz...
crying while telling..HAha...
xD
i dun even cried at my tuition place..
i juz listened..n felt lucky
a little bit of fear n tats all
but...
perhaps..
my shock receptors r much slower than other ppl's
coz thats the only reason why my tears always came much later after things happened..